Que ‘Leave It To Beaver’ theme song. The camera pans around a brightly coloured kitchen, yellows and pinks spread throughout the room in furnishings, flowers, and utensils. The sun is shining through a large window in the background that seems to span across the whole back wall. A woman is seen facing the sink, washing her hands. She’s got long, almost black hair that is left down and straight with a bright red bow tied at the top. She has on a stark white dress that is cut just below the knee with a red and white polkadot apron over top. She seems to not be paying much attention to anything but washing her hands.

Multiple children pile into the room, laughing and skipping around. The woman turns her head to look at them, her red painted lips curling into a smile. 

Wait… who is that? Is that….? Rorie Steele?! 

Rorie: “Children!”

She seems overjoyed that they’re there. The kids smile back at her and jump up on the chairs around the large island in the middle of the kitchen. 

Kids: “Miss Rorie!”

Rorie continues to smile at them all as she turns off the water. She dries her perfectly manicured hands on a cloth and turns to face them. The dress goes right up to her neck, showing no cleavage what-so-ever. It seems her chest isn’t even as big as it used to be. Breast reduction? WHAT!? She leans her elbows on the table so that she’s more the height of the children. 

Rorie: “What do you think, children? Shall we bake some cupcakes today?”

Little Debbie: “Oh yes! Cherry chip cupcakes?”

Little Timmy: “Yea! Those are my favourite!”

Rorie nods and straightens up. She seems to pull out every ingredient for baking the cupcakes right from under the island. In a few swift motions, everything is there and ready to be mixed. Within a few moments, the children have gotten the mixture into tins and Rorie is placing them into the oven. The children are licking the bowls and spoons that were leftover. 

Rorie: “Now children… you know you’re not supposed to eat that… it’s bad for you!”

Little Jenny: “Aww come on, Miss Rorie! It’s just a bit of batter.”

Rorie: “Okay… but only a little bit… And don’t tell anyone!”

The children cheered and finished up the last bits of the batter. Rorie put everything into the sink for cleaning. 

Rorie: “Okay, children. It’s time to go play for a bit. The cupcakes will be ready soon… Once they’re done and cooled down a bit, we’ll ice them! Sound good?”

Kids: “YAY!”

The children run off and go to play. Soon after, the phone rings. Rorie answers it with a cheery voice.

Rorie: “Hello?”

She pauses for a moment. 

Rorie: “Yes, this is she.”

Another pause.

Rorie: “Oh… it’s… it’s back open? Really? Well… you know… I’m retired….”

She looks a bit concerned. 

Rorie: “I… I can’t just come there. I have other engagements… I run a daycare now.”

LOUD laughing is heard on the other end of the line. Rorie slightly moves the phone from her ear so it isn’t as loud. 

Rorie: “Sir… there’s no need for that. I’m a changed woman.”

Another pause. 

Rorie: “….. really? That much? And when would I need to be there?”

She raises a brow. 

Rorie: “I’ll really need to think about this… I mean… I might be able to make a short appearance…. a quick appearance…”

She looks as if she’s thinking hard about this. Normally, Rorie would be right on this and be done with it. She loved being the centre of attention. 

Rorie: “You know what? Let me think about it and give you a call back… I should talk to my husband about this…”

HUSBAND!?

Other Line: “HUSBAND?!”

Rorie: “Yes… my husband. I’ll talk to him and get back to you, okay? Thank you for the offer!”

She quickly hung up the phone. Husband…. Whaaaaaaaa? Rorie leaned back against the counter, looking deep in thought. A man walks into the room and goes directly to Rorie. He kisses her cheek and wraps an arm around her waist. She smiles at him. 

Man: “Rorie… I heard you on the phone.. who was it?”

She moves just enough to push him back against the counter, so that she is now in front of him, hugging his waist. 

Rorie: “Oh Leo.. it was just someone from W2K… they were.. asking me to come back. But I don’t know what to do.” 

Leo? Like… Leonardo? Like… LEONARDO FUCKING DICAPRIO!? Yep. Yep. Fucking yup. I hate that guy. He’s standing there… looking all stupid… being Rorie’s stupid husband… HUSBAND!

Leonardo: “Well what’s wrong with that? I mean… I’m doing Titanic 2 in 3 weeks… I need to fly out for that next week… I won’t be around much.. it’ll give you something to do.”

Rorie: “I still don’t understand why you’d do Titanic 2… didn’t Jack die?”

Leonardo: “They’re making it so that Jack was frozen in a large block of ice and due to global warming, he's thawed out and is looking for Rose. It's really thought-provoking and emotional. Spiritual and quite the journey to find oneself as well. I think I may even get the Oscar for this one...”

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN. You’ll never fucking get one. Dickface. 

Rorie: “Let’s hope, my love. Let’s hope. So you’d be okay with this? I mean… I’d have to leave in 2 days…”

Leonardo smiled at her. He kissed her forehead. 

Leonardo: “Of course, Rorie. We’ll just make the most of the next two days.”

Rorie: “But what about the daycare?”

Leonardo: “It’s just for a few days, right? An appearance? The parents will understand.”

Rorie smiled and nodded. 

Rorie: “I’ll think some more about it. But I need to get these cupcakes out of the oven so these children can frost them. You go and rest for a bit. I’ll make dinner in a couple of hours. Then we’ll have a lovely night. Okay?”

Leonardo smiles and kisses her on the temple now. 

Leonardo: “Of course. I’ll see you in a bit, gorgeous.”

Rorie: “Of course, my love.”

Rorie smiles at him as he walks away. She seems so happy. Disgusting. She turns around and gets on some oven mitts. She pulls the cupcakes out of the oven. After about 10 minutes, the children run back in. 

Little Debbie: “Are they ready, Miss Rorie?” 

Rorie nodded at them. They jumped up on the chairs again and started to decorate. She did a few on her own. They were perfect. The kids were making a mess. Rorie walked around, looking at how the kids were decorating everything. She finally got to the last little boy. She looked at his cupcake. It looked awful. There was what resembled a knife on it and red icing everywhere. Rorie gasped quietly. 

Rorie: “Little Johnny! What is that??”

Little Johnny: “What my dad did to my mom…”

Rorie: “Oh my. How about we change it to a heart? That would be nice.”

Little Johnny: “Fuck that!”

Rorie: “Little Johnny!”

Little Johnny: “Slut.”

Rorie curled her hands into fists at her sides. She closed her eyes for a moment and calmed herself down. Definitely not like the old Rorie. She opened her eyes as her hands uncurled. 

Rorie: “Little Johnny. That’s not nice to say. You can go into the other room and have a time out.”

What? No yelling? No throwing him across the fucking room? No calling him a cunt and shanking him in the face? Little Johnny jumped out of his seat and went to the other room. Surprisingly he listened to her. She smiled and took his cupcake, fixing it and getting rid of the knife and blood. 

Rorie: “Much better.”

The kids finally finished and Rorie got them all ready to go home, giving them each their own cupcakes to take in a box. She sent each child home and only had good things to say about them. Even Little Johnny. So different from the old Rorie. What was going on here? And what would she decide? Hmmmmmmm….. 

.TBC. by not YOU.